shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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