What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
