if only i could text you this smell
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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