508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
