Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize