i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
