my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
