i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Mom said you looked used
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
