I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
