He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
