I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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