Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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