giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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