We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
