Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
