I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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