i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
