Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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