yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
