Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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