there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
