Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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