Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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