Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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