Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
