we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
