They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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