worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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