what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
