im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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