Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
