I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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