Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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