in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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