she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
