Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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