he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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