i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
