I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My ATM looks so different sober.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
