So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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