Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
