they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
