"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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