1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
