wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
