vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
