Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bring money and cleavage
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
