He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
