me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I AM VODKA MAN
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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