last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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