I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
