Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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