HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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