Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize