so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
