Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
