Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
