I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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