Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
