Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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