Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
