Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
