I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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