if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
