how can u be prego again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
